• What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

• Where does seaweed look for a job?

In the 'Kelp-wanted' ads.

• Why are manatees so wrinkled?

Did you ever try to iron one?

• What is purple and lives in the sea and weighs 5000 pounds?

Moby Plum.

• What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

• What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

• Why did the military send the octopus off to war?

Because it was well-armed.

• What does an octopus wear on a cold day?

A coat of arms

• Why did the crab cross the road?

To get to the other tide.