• What do you get when you graduate from scuba diving school?

A deep-loma.

• What's green and squishy and spends a lot of time underwater?

An avocado with an Aqua Lung.

• One day, a scuba diver was enjoying the aquatic world 30 feet underwater. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever. The diver went down to 60 feet, and noticed the guy headed down with him. The diver descended to 90 feet and saw the guy still headed down toward him. The diver finally stopped at 130 feet underwater and found the guy right next to him. The scuba diver was impressed that this guy was able to go so deep without any scuba gear, so he took his underwater slate and wrote, "How are you able to go to 130 feet underwater with any scuba equipment." When he showed to the him, the guy ripped the slate out of his hands and wrote, "I'm drowning you fool!"

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